Wednesday August 27, 2008 Submit a story for publication. Want to support Daily Rotten? Buy a membership at Pornopolis! Also: Visit the Rotten Store Two-Headed Boy News Corporation | Submitted by: aussie joe "He has one stomach and he is eating normally with his two mouths. He has one genital organ and a full set of limbs. He was born from one embryo but there was a developmental anomaly." [With picture.] Read article... Comments (895) Uncontrollable Horny Growths London Telegraph | Submitted by: phat vaj skewah "Dede's ordeal began when he was 15 and cut his knee in an accident. A small wart developed on his lower leg and spread uncontrollably... Eventually he had to give up work as a builder and fisherman, and scratch a living in a traveling freak show." [With video of man covered in cutaneous horns] Read article... Comments (63) Abortion Pays Off Down Under News Corporation | Submitted by: pope abortiface "It was intended to boost the birth rate, but a legal loophole means the $5000 baby bonus can be claimed for late-term abortions... The loophole arises because abortions after 20 weeks' gestation are recorded by doctors as stillbirths." Read article... Comments (29) Food Price Shock Hits Ratmeat Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: JJ "The price of rat meat has quadrupled in Cambodia this year as inflation puts other meat beyond the reach of poor people... Demand has pushed a kilogram of rat meat up to around 5,000 riel ($1.48)... [meanwhile] beef costs 20,000 riel a kilogram." Read article... Comments (42) Something To Show You News Corporation | Submitted by: ChookyPubes "Mr Walker then went inside the house, got a knife, came back outside and said to Ms Morrison words to the effect: 'I've got something to show you'" before slashing her throat. "It would have been terrible if she [had] jumped around like a chook with its head cut off." [Submitter notes: "Chook" is Australian for "chicken".] Read article... Comments (22) Story Straight, Mom Treasure Coast Newspapers | Submitted by: special "Authorities found a videotape showing the suspect when he was 17 having sex with his 4-year-old German shepherd. The teen told detectives that he made the video, that it was him having sex with the dog and that he'd done this only one time. But in a civil trial in the case, the teen's mother testified that her son told her he'd had sex with the dog four times." Read article... and This article... Comments (64) Coolest Woman Alive Washington Post | Submitted by: Flossy666 "The former English teacher and yearbook adviser's relationship with two students turned criminal in June, when she gave them cocaine -- one of them on two occasions -- in her Rockville home." Read article... Comments (30) A Cat With Wings Daily Mail | Submitted by: Ray The two cats "began sprouting bumps on their backs, which later turned into wing-like growths, during a recent spell of hot weather in China's Sichuan province." Read article... Comments (64) Justice Arrives Late AZ Central | Submitted by: azdollarbill Woman cleared of charges of witchcraft, 225 years later: "In spite of that they tortured an innocent person and had her executed, although it was known to them that the alleged crime was neither doable nor possible and that there was no legal basis for their verdict." Read article... Comments (55) Tuesday August 26, 2008 Doc Scores Blow Job For Nose Job News Corporation | Submitted by: aussiechick "A celebrity plastic surgeon who allowed a patient to perform oral sex on him before he gave her a nose job is fighting to keep his medical license... "Knowing her nose better than anyone else, I was in a unique position to take care of the problem." Read article... Comments (477) Merciless Flogging News Corporation | Submitted by: BrucePubes "Ronald Djana used a hose to whip his 32-year-old partner before belting her with a stick, stomping on her abdomen and dragging her naked body over rough ground, before raping her with either a stick or metal pole, causing severe internal injuries." Read article... Comments (38) Wal-Mart Shenanigans Times Tribune | Submitted by: pink stink wrinkle "[The homeless man] entered a fitting room at the store with three articles of women’s lingerie. Pennington then allegedly proceeded to masturbate with the lingerie, afterwards returning the items to the store clerk." ... And not but also: "A witness said Nelson placed a cell phone up the child's shorts and took a photograph." Read article... and This article... Comments (29) Veni Vidi Velcro Daily Mail | Submitted by: snatch "As a burglar, John Pearce thinks nothing of turning his victims' homes upside down. But this time it was the house that turned him the wrong way up." Hey-hey! Read article... Comments (22) Beshafted New York Post | Submitted by: for the genital-niffing love of Brian Doytle "The [chronically malfunctioning] A-line elevator at 70 Clymer St. in Williamsburg got stuck between floors Tuesday morning, trapping 5-year-old Jakob Neuman and his 8-year-old brother Israel. When the door opened, Jakob jumped to the landing but tumbled backwards into the shaft, falling 100 feet to his death." Read article... Comments (28) O Rose Thou Art Sick International Herald Tribune | Submitted by: snatch "Police say the grandfather has admitted killing the child and dumping her body in a river, but he has also given half-a-dozen other accounts, among them that he trafficked her to Palestinians, sent her to an ultra-Orthodox Jewish boarding school and that she was on a trip abroad. No body has been found where the suspect says he put it, and there is no forensic evidence proving her death." Read article... Comments (22) Hold Still San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Guitarded "A Foster City man has pleaded no contest to elder abuse for hitting his father in the head with a hammer because he mistakenly thought the 81-year-old man had to be hospitalized before he could be admitted to a nursing home." Read article... Comments (12) Teacher Outed As Adult Friend Manly Daily | Submitted by: Sandy "The teacher used a strange word as his username while accessing an educational website during a presentation to Year 11 students... Several students noticed the strange username and put the word into Google. The first result that appeared was an explicit personal profile for the teacher, in which he advertised himself as a "40-year-old cuddly bear who is looking for (a) **** buddy/friend for fun." Read article... Comments (28) Teen Suicide Bomber Gives Up Daily Mail | Submitted by: sp00k "Tears streaming down her face, she is confronted by police -- a teenage girl apparently planning to blow herself up in front of an Iraqi school." Read article... Comments (32) Large Botnet Disabled PC World | Submitted by: phlox unhandly "This particular botnet, which at one time had as many as 150,000 machines worldwide, is called "Shadow," the name bestowed on it by its creator... When the bust occurred, the 19-year-old was attempting to sell the botnet for €25,000 (US$37,290), a price Willems said is way too high in proportion to how botnets are currently priced." Read article... Comments (17) Monday August 25, 2008 Crazy Lady Axes Asian Adoptees Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: annidez "On Thursday, however, Sylvia Sieferman, 60, sat alone, a knife in front of her, bleeding heavily from her neck. Police said she was near the front steps of the family's new home in Roseville, about a half-mile from the one they apparently could no longer afford, yelling to police officers: "Kill me! Kill me!" Read article... Comments (361) Mule Pigeon Caged News Corporation | Submitted by: furpo "The guards suspected the animal might be involved in drug smuggling once they noticed four prisoners visibly intoxicated shortly after the pigeon landed on a prison window... All four inmates had tested positive for heroin." Read article... Comments (45) Vampire Pedophile WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Flossy666 "Federal agents said Mitchell was so consumed with this belief, he capped his teeth so that he would appear as a vampire and referred to himself as Draven, WJXT-TV reported. Investigators said Mitchell would only work enough hours to support his pot-smoking habit." Read article... Comments (46) Octogenarian Stomped and Beaten BBC | Submitted by: Munchkin "The court heard how the defendant punched the pensioner in May 2007 after entering her home and as they fought she slipped on her blood. Prosecutor David Mainstone said Crute knocked Mrs Smith to the floor and stamped on her several times... Crute then struck her three times to the back of the head with a wooden shelf from a computer desk before he left the house." [With picture.] Read article... Comments (28) Nice Piece MSNBC | Submitted by: DS "Nice piece 5 yrs old belongs to my gf and she wants to sell it" read the text message received by FBI agents in San Antonio. The girlfriend hoped to get a used car out of the deal, and also reasoned that "these sexual interactions would be a positive experience for [her child]". Read article... Comments (22) Don't Touch My Pussy The Australian | Submitted by: snatch "The trouble began when Mr Keyte rescued the woman's grey tabby cat from a possum trap in the yard next door to his house, Mr Bailey said... Police will allege the couple died of massive head injuries caused by a blunt instrument." Read article... Comments (16) Fall On Your Sword Charlotte Observer | Submitted by: snatch "Frantic, police said, the couple tried to find a way to open the car. The wife searched for a spare set of keys. Lemus, meanwhile, grabbed a large butcher knife which police believe he was going to use to pry open the car's window. But as Lemus went out of the apartment, he fell down six stairs and landed on the knife." Read article... Comments (33) Tuppenny Whore Naples Daily News | Submitted by: snatch "On Thursday night, Hernandez was arrested again. This time, the charge was different -- soliciting a prostitute. The 46-year-old offered two cents to an undercover deputy posing as a prostitute at the Circle K, according to his arrest report." Read article... Comments (41) Ankle Monitors For Houston Truants Houston Chronicle | Submitted by: pelagic ooze "Court authorities will be able to track students with a history of skipping school under a new program requiring them to wear ankle bracelets with Global Positioning System monitoring... About 50 students -- likely to be mostly high schoolers -- will wear the thick ankle bracelets during the six-month pilot program announced Friday." Read article... Comments (18) Trailing the Nuclear Black Market International Herald Tribune | Submitted by: wronghorn "Over four years, several of these officials said, operatives of the CIA paid the Tinners as much as $10 million, some of it delivered in a suitcase stuffed with cash. In return, the Tinners delivered a flow of secret information that helped end Libya's bomb program, reveal Iran's atomic labors and, ultimately, undo Khan's nuclear black market." Read article... Comments (29) Sunday August 24, 2008 It Was Godzilla New Orleans Times-Picayune | Submitted by: Gabby Gator "By the day's end, doctors at Ochsner Medical Center broke the news to Devin and his parents that they could not reattach his arm, which authorities had retrieved after hunting down the alligator and killing it. Devin's reaction was decisive: "Get me a robot arm that looks like the Terminator." [With picture.] Read article... Comments (347) Another Dead Amputee Hooker New York Post | Submitted by: handyman "A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her skull against the wall, cops said yesterday." Read article... Comments (39) Dude Now She's Ruining My First Life CBS 3 | Submitted by: DS "The pair apparently met online in Second Life. A virtual relationship began between the victim, whose character was a Lion, and Jerrigan, whose online persona was said to be a virtual woman... When the two met in reality several months ago, police said the victim ended the relationship, sending Jernigan into a downward spiral." Read article... Comments (33) Naked Bike Ride With Dad Canoe | Submitted by: ZebraBob "Naked cyclists converged on Vancouver's main police station Saturday after a man was arrested with his three-year-old son during a nude ride earlier in the day... They were taking part in a naked bike ride event, which happens several times a year. It attracts a range of people, some who want to promote bike riding and others who enjoy cycling in nude." Read article... Comments (22) Dump Your Teen In Nebraska Wire Services | Submitted by: Throw Johnny from the train Safe haven law covers anyone under 19: "Whether the kid is disabled or unruly or just being a hormonal teenager, the state is saying: 'Hey, we have a really easy option for you.'" Read article... Comments (29) Shitty Mall Weed Grown Locally CBS 4 Miami | Submitted by: jaap de hoop "Agents found more than 200 marijuana plants inside a building at the Mall of the Americas in west Miami-Dade late Friday. Now they want to know who was cultivating them, and who set up the hydroponics lab that could have lit the mall on fire with flimsy wiring." Read article... Comments (23) Klingon Knife Amnesty Daily Mail | Submitted by: cunt pussy cunt "The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it... The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek." Read article... Comments (31) Hooligan Vacation New York Times | Submitted by: PatsyStoneCheers "They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit," Malia's mayor, Konstantinos Lagoudakis, said in an interview. "It is only the British people -- not the Germans or the French." Read article... Comments (25) North Korea Solves Famine Problem BBC | Submitted by: hongry "North Korean scientists have developed a new kind of noodle that delays feelings of hunger, a Japan-based pro-Pyongyang newspaper has reported... The noodles were made from corn and soybeans, the Choson Shinbo said. They left people feeling fuller longer and represented a technological breakthrough." Read article... Comments (34) Saturday August 23, 2008 Black Market Hunches Ghanaian Times | Submitted by: pink stink wrinkle "The Bibiani police are appealing to the public to assist them to unravel an emerging gruesome phenomenon there of hunchbacks being allegedly killed and their humps removed for suspected ritual purposes... because of the strange belief that the blood is very potent." Read article... Comments (440) Give Him The Gadget Times of India | Submitted by: pink stink wrinkle Murder abets iPod theft: "14-year-old Arka Das... eventually admitted to hitting 10-year-old Siuli Dalui in the face and throwing her 40 feet down a canal embankment. When he found that the girl was unconscious but alive, he gagged her, smashed her head with a stone and hid her body behind a hedge, police say." Read article... Comments (24) A Tithe In Tullytown Philadelphia Intelligencer | Submitted by: athenstexman "A woman who allegedly defecated inside the sanctuary of Tullytown's St. Michael the Archangel Church in February believed her feces would rid the parish of a hex, a police officer testified Tuesday... The hex had something to do with 528 dead children the woman believed were buried between St. Mike's and a nearby Dunkin' Donuts on Levittown Parkway, the officer added." Read article... Comments (33) Serial Mayhem AZ Central | Submitted by: azdollarbill "But Dale and Jeff Hausner already knew that the gun could kill, according to Dieteman. That night, as they sat at Jeff's kitchen table, Dieteman said, they let him in on how they had killed a transient in Phoenix who tried to keep Dale from shooting a dog." Read article... Comments (28) Paranoid Mexicans Getting Chipped Daily Mail | Submitted by: prof. pocklington "Middle-class families in Mexico are having tiny transmitters implanted under their skin so that satellites can track them if they are kidnapped... Official statistics show 751 kidnappings in the country last year, but the independent crime research institute ICESI says the number could have exceeded 7,000." Read article... Comments (40) Deep Cover Beaumont Enterprise | Submitted by: DS "If you are asking if I had an orgasm, yes. It was a job, sir," Breiner said. "I didn't have pleasure doing this. I was paid to do it." Read article... Comments (40) Thugs To Become Terrorists Canoe | Submitted by: My dog drinks GHB Criminologist finds an opportunity to broaden the scope of Canadian anti-terrorism laws -- apply them to gangsters running roughshod over the Cree town of Hobbema. Read article... Comments (15) All Fired Up by Text Message The Dominion Post | Submitted by: ZebraBob Darren Jeffries was not behaving like the brightest spark but the one suspected to have come from his cellphone was bright enough -- igniting [hash] he was cooking up in his bedroom with the door closed... Police said Jeffries, 23, was caught in a fireball and ran 'smoking from his head' to alert his partner and two children who were in the house..." Read article... Comments (22) Two Aspiring Flagellants BBC | Submitted by: ZebraBob "A man accused of making two boys flog themselves until they bled at a Shia Muslim ceremony said they were happy to perform the ritual.. He admitted he allowed the boys to use his zanjeer zani, which has five curved blades attached to chains and a wooden handle, to carry out the matam -- the act of flagellation." Read article... and This article... Comments (31) Nerds on a Mission North Jersey Record | Submitted by: Caiibrated "Officer before dawn yesterday approached a car parked in the left lane of Route 46 east and found two Clifton men dressed in black claiming to be ninjas... The men were wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows and nunchucks, said Detective Capt. Robert Rowan." Read article... Comments (22) Friday August 22, 2008 Whale Crushes Child Wire Services | Submitted by: Veggie Thousand-pound behemoth charged with landing several blows on the two-year-old, "crushing his head". Her defense might be air-tight and possibly water-tight as well -- the woman simply cannot squeeze out her front door to attend trial. Read article... Comments (395) Wishful Thinking, Mr. Principal San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: castiliano vulgo "When a high school senior told her principal that students were taunting her for being a lesbian, he told her homosexuality is wrong, outed her to her parents and ordered her to stay away from children... He suspended some of her friends who expressed their outrage by wearing gay pride T-shirts and buttons... He went so far as to lift the shirts of female students to ensure the letters GP or the words Gay Pride were not written on their bodies." Read article... Comments (64) When Baldy Is Killed Wire Services | Submitted by: selfcleaning buttocks An end to an alopecia sufferer: "This wasn't a shooting that was a random act. It was an individual directing his aggression toward another individual, not the school or the students inside the school." [Oh shit, good eye kyotay2001] Read article... Comments (23) Mother of the Year Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Mikeisgreen "I just heard popping and then I felt warm blood leaking down my shirt," said the mother, whose name is not being published to protect the identity of her daughter. "I looked and I was on his body and then I went up to his head and hit him twice in the head, but the second time it made a curdling noise, and I didn't like that, so I quit." Read article... Comments (38) Virgin Makes Other Girls Look Bad News 24 South Africa | Submitted by: Hubito Machogrande "The other girls were angry with Nobuhle because she had decided not to have children now and all the parents held her up as an example. It made the other girls, who already have children, look bad. Nobuhle was found dead with a bottle of pills next to her and it was initially thought that she had committed suicide. However, a post mortem showed that she had died of head injuries." Read article... Comments (26) Put Some Clothes On Ladies KCTV-TV 5 Kansas City | Submitted by: pink stink wrinkle "At times traveling at very high speeds, the woman allegedly ran red lights, forced other cars off the road and almost hit a police officer who was putting out spike strips, police said... When they took her into custody, officers could "smell the odor of PCP emanating from the driver, and she appeared to be under the influence of something." Read article... Comments (29) Kill and Eat BBC | Submitted by: keysersoze "Once the dog had the child, she was not going to give up what she regarded as her prize." Read article... Comments (28) Face Transplant Gallery BBC | Submitted by: Licketyslit "This 29-year-old male patient had a facial tumour called a neurofibroma, which was infiltrating the middle and lower part of his face. A year after a partial face transplant, the patient regained good movement and sensation in his face." [First story has six excellent photographs.] Read article... and This article... Comments (19) Chest Blown Out By Steroids BBC | Submitted by: Sweet Spot "German doctors were shocked at the extent of the massive, deep ulcerating sores on the chest and back of the 21-year-old man... After antiseptic and antibiotic therapy the wounds healed but left permanent scars." [With more medical photos from The Lancet] Read article... Comments (20) Drunk, Blind, and French Wire Services | Submitted by: keysersoze "The owner said he saw "a lot of happiness emanating from him" as he drove, adding that he had "one hand on the handbrake and one hand on the steering wheel" as the blind journalist drove. "I was very concentrated on the road," he said." Read article... Comments (9) The Spread of Toilet Culture Terra Daily | Submitted by: Mikeisgreen "We do 'walks of shame' where you take a group of people and you walk around and you say, 'look, here's some human faeces here and somebody else has had a shit there and you do this community mapping where everybody comes and says where they defecate." The maps then show that there's faeces spread all over the community." Read article... Comments (33) Diebold Admits Shedding Votes Washington Post | Submitted by: squelch "A voting system used in 34 states contains a critical programming error that can cause votes to be dropped while being electronically transferred from memory cards to a central tallying point, the manufacturer acknowledges... The problem was identified after complaints from Ohio elections officials following the March primary there, but the logic error that is the root of the problem has been part of the software for 10 years." Read article... Comments (25) Daily Rotten Archives..