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J. Edgar Hoover

Director of the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972. The Agency was his private fiefdom; no president had enough balls to remove Hoover from office, not even Nixon. It was an FBI that suspected of nearly everyone something criminal, relentlessly hounding Albert Einstein, Frank Sinatra, the Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplin, etc. about communist ties and other Unamerican Activities.

It's impossible to underestimate the influence J. Edgar had on American law enforcement throughout the 20th century. As a supporter of prohibition, Hoover presided over the greatest development of organized crime this country has ever seen. And for decades Hoover denied the existence of the Mafia, permitting it to flourish until the 1970's. This would be bad enough, but it's not his worst legacy. That would be permitting the use of law enforcement as a instrument of revenge and politics, a behavior which reached its apex in the Nixon administration.

But behind the scenes he was more like J. Edna Hoover, what with all the crossdressing. True enough, this corseted crime fighter was spotted more than once wearing an ill-fitting cocktail dress, lisping and prancing around at private parties hosted by the Mob. His pudgy boyfriend Clyde Tolson wasn't even cute, but he must have seen something in that boy.

Hoover's life insurance policy named Tolson as his beneficiary (listed relationship: "FBI Associate"). They lived in the same apartment. Tolson's grave is even next to Hoover's.

Sent a bouquet of flowers to Walter Jenkins after his YMCA gay sex escapade.

Hoover's SSN 577-60-1114
Tolson's SSN 577-60-2204


1 Jan 1895 John Edgar Hoover born to Dickerson Naylor Hoover and Annie Marie Schleiten Hoover, Washington DC.
22 May 1900 Longtime companion Clyde Tolson born, Laredo MO.
1917 Appointed special agent.
1918 Assisted in the registration of all German-born women in the U.S.
1918 Has an affair with a female, Alice. This is the last time Hoover tastes tuna.
1919 Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer claims that communist agents have constructed a plan to overthrow the American Government on November 7th, 1919, the second anniversary of the Russian Revolution. Palmer and his assistant J. Edgar Hoover arrests over 10,000 suspected anarchists and communists and holds them without trial, ultimately releasing all but 247, who are deported to Russia. These mass arrests become known as the Palmer Raids, an event instrumental in the founding of the ACLU.
9 Nov 1920 Becomes a Freemason: Federal Lodge No. 1, District of Columbia.
10 May 1924 Attorney General Harlan Fiske Stone appoints J. Edgar Hoover Acting Director of the Bureau of Identification. Calvin Coolidge is President.
1934 Asked by Franklin D. Roosevelt to investigate domestic fascist and Nazi groups.
Jul 1936 FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover issues a memo to Walt Disney, telling him: "I am indeed pleased that we can be of service to you in affording you a means of absolute identity throughout your lifetime." The meaning of the phrase "absolute identity" has yet to be deduced.
1937 Jack Alexander writes a profile on Hoover which appears in The New Yorker, with some details of Hoover's earlier life.
Feb 1938 Hoover's mother dies. Note: At this point, Hoover was still living with his mom.
1951 Recipient, Big Brother of 1951 award, by Big Brothers of America, Inc. (Honestly.)
1952 Spreads untrue rumors of Presidential candidate Adlai Stevenson's homosexuality.
1955 Becomes a 33rd degree Mason.
1956 Hoover launches COINTELPRO.
1964 Hoover issues a memo requesting agents to gather "information concerning [Martin Luther] King's personal proclivities... in order that we may consider using this information at an opportune time in a counterintelligence move to discredit him."
22 May 1967 As he has done for decades, J. Edgar Hoover designates his personal estate to be the beneficiary of his FBI life insurance policy.
5 Jun 1967 J. Edgar Hoover changes his life insurance beneficiary to his personal assistant, Clyde A. Tolson, 4000 Massachusetts Ave NW #1316, Washington, D.C. Under "Relationship," Hoover puts "Associate."
12 Jul 1967 J. Edgar Hoover reaffirms his life insurance beneficiary as being Clyde A. Tolson. This time, he omits Tolson's home address and lists his relationship as "FBI Associate."
4 Feb 1972 J. Edgar Hoover reaffirms his life insurance beneficiary as being Clyde A. Tolson. 4000 Massachusetts Ave NW #1316, Washington, D.C.
2 May 1972 J. Edgar Hoover dies, leaving entire estate to longtime companion Clyde Tolson.
2 May 1972 On hearing of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover's death, President Richard M. Nixon exclaims: "Jesus Christ! That old cocksucker!"
4 May 1972 Hoover's corpse moved to National Presbyterian Church.
May 1972 Aware that his career at FBI is not sustainable without boyfriend Hoover, Clyde Tolson leaves the agency.
15 Apr 1975 Longtime companion Clyde Tolson dies. Buried near Hoover in the Congressional Cemetery.
1993 Official and Confidential: The Secret Life of J. Edgar Hoover by Anthony Summers published, containing allegations of crossdressing. These allegations are basted on information from Susan Rosentiel, who with her husband Lewis, attended a 1958 party which involved some tomfoolery and some gorgeous blonde boys. These allegations are sketchy. However, there is absolutely no doubt regarding Hoover's homosexuality: The man was a poofter. Straight Dope, et. al..

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