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Henry VIII

This oft-married British king engineered a religious schism from the Roman Catholic Church so he could divorce his first wife. That same year, he enacted the first British laws to make Buggery a capital crime. Athletic and handsome as a youth, he grew immensely fat after a jousting accident.

Forever immortalized by Herman's Hermits:

I'm Henry the eighth I am,
Henry the eighth I am, I am.
I got married to the widow next door,
She's been married seven times before,
And every one was an Henry (Henry!)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (No Sam!)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry,
Henry the eighth I am

Second verse, same as the first etc. etc.


28 Jun 1491 Henry VIII born.
11 Jun 1509 Marries Catherine of Aragon (#1), his brother's widow.
24 Jun 1509 Crowned King of England.
18 Feb 1516 Catherine of Aragon gives birth to Mary I.
11 Feb 1531 Henry becomes Supreme Governor of the Church of England.
1533 Introduces the Buggery Act, making buggery a hanging offense. This statute remains in effect until 1861.
25 Jan 1533 Marries Anne Boleyn (#2) in secret.
23 May 1533 Marriage to Catherine of Aragon annulled.
7 Sep 1533 Anne Boleyn gives birth to Elizabeth I.
1536 Injures his thigh in a jousting accident. His subsequent inability to exercise is responsible for the modern image of his fatness.
11 Feb 1536 Marriage to Anne Boleyn annulled.
19 May 1536 Anne Boleyn beheaded, having been convicted of adultery, witchcraft, and treason.
30 May 1536 Marries Jane Seymour (#3).
12 Oct 1537 Jane Seymour gives birth to Edward VI.
24 May 1537 Jane Seymour dies.
6 Jan 1540 Marries Anne of Cleves (#4).
9 Jul 1540 Marriage to Anne of Cleves annulled.
28 Jul 1540 Marries Catherine Howard (#5).
13 Feb 1542 Catherine Howard beheaded, having been convicted of treason and adultery.
12 Jul 1543 Marries Catherine Parr (#6). It is her fourth marriage, making her the most-married Queen of England.
28 Jan 1547 Dies, possibly due to gout or Syphilis.

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